What do you mean I can't have it all?
What do you mean ‘I can’t have it all?’ - Michelle Hayward (2nd article) (Source http://www.cosmopolitan.com.au/women_cant_have_it_all.htm ) According to Bridget Jones' Diary author, Helen Fielding, women are living a false reality! Motivational speakers, experts and women living the ‘dream’ have been telling us for years that we can "have it all" - travel, freedom, career and family - but Bridget Jones' Diary author, Helen Fielding, reckons it's all a pipe dream. (As quoted by Cosmopolitan). Commentating this week at her alma mater, Oxford Union, Fielding addressed on the "modern disease" dogging women. "There are so many advertisements now telling people they need to look a certain way and have this perfect life. They feel they should be getting up at six in the morning and going to the gym, then doing a full day's work and coming back late and have to feed 12 people for dinner. It's a modern disease. That's why Bridget struck such a chord with women, because she is human and she has these flaws which most of us have." Fielding talked about Bridget's mother, who was confident and brassy, and the differences between mother and daughter. "Bridget's mother is really confident because she grew up in the time of the war with no air-brushing and stupid advertisements," Fielding said. "She knows who she is, what she stands for and what her values are. She is not affected by the idea that one minute she should be a woman, the next she should be a career woman and the next she should be a mother. She is not confused. Look at how many self-help books are sold, especially in America where they are often the top- selling books. They have become a religion." (Cosmopolitan) Does Fielding have a point? Are we all so sold on the idea that we can “have it all” that we don’t care what we have to endure to get it, or how we get it, or even how long it takes to get there... whatever, or wherever ‘there’ is? In chasing ‘the dream’ are we selling out? Do we actually have dysfunctional families that are suffering, purse strings that don’t meet despite our best efforts and asses as big as houses that we stuff into tight pencil skirts to meet the ‘thin’ perception of women in the workforce? Have we swapped full-length mirrors for compacts because we can’t bear to stare at more than one of our own eyes at a time, for fear of what truth may be mirrored there? And in doing so, without the benefit of seeing ourselves upon full reflection, failed to notice the widening margin of our behinds, our egos and the truth of a full-scale rebellion being waged in our homes right under our noses – which all of the above we would categorically deny if ever quizzed on the state of our lives! Would we echo a chorus of ‘I’m Mrs Smith-Jones... practically perfect in every way!?” Do we fill out forms on a daily basis, submitting our names, birthdates and marital status, just stopping short of writing “State of Denial” where QLD, VIC or NSW should go? Has Fielding pulled back the layers of skin to reveal a curling lip and snarling dog ready to attack and avenge in an instant. Are we simply cycling through the motions, just keeping the wolves at bay, playing in a pretend world that we have no business being a part of? Is it time to take stock of the whirlwind that has taken over our lives, tip out the Starbucks Cappuccino and make an instant coffee for an instant reality check – sadly a cheque that won’t pay the bills! What a sight we must be to anyone watching from above – all these humans racing around chasing our tails between kids, husbands, jobs, study, travel, and freedom ... especially the women, if we take on board Fielding’s belief that we are in essence, dreaming! How clever we are to have installed the illusion into ever corner of our world! It lives and breathes and replicates like magic on our hard-drives, in our compact mirrors, and in our minds. So if this is true, how do we uninstall this virus? Is there a magic cure? And more importantly do we want one? Why can’t we have it all... flaws and all? Our world has sped up to such a degree there’s no more time to stop and smell the flowers, gone are the days when neighbours chatted over the fence as they hung the washing, and then chatted over the top of cups of tea laced with nothing more than sugar. These days we’re polishing off a latte with a couple of Panadol, setting our clocks forward before daylight savings even sets in, and racing from one appointment to the next. So are we unhappy? Is all of this manic behaviour sending us all to the wall? Or is it confidence and self-esteem that drives us. Could it be that as women living in the 21st century, we actually have a handle on who we are! Is there a chance that perhaps our Grandmothers, who were content with the washing and the ironing, and neighbourly chat, never got the opportunity to truly know themselves or reach their full potential due to the era they were born in? Fielding may have a point, but consider for a moment that the reverse is true. I cook for nearly 12 people regularly and I’ve managed not to cave under the pressure so far. I’ve reached 40 and I’ve learnt to feel comfortable in my own skin, as a woman, a mother, and a career-driven force (to be reckoned with!) In my life I wear many different hats. I am an advocate for my family, writer, designer, keeper of secrets, holder of hearts, domestic goddess, business owner, work-aholic, shop-aholic, insomniac, brainiac (sometimes...) research assistant, student, make up, artist, novelist, coffee addict, and true romantic at heart who is ruled by chocolate... I am a Capricorn... busy living many facets of life. I don’t think Grandma could have said that! I’m excited to be part of such an exhilarating ride and blessed to have the opportunity to know who I am, free to pursue my dreams, and to celebrate that! I think our generation has smashed the stereotypes and moved forward into a previously untouched realm. We are the movers and the shakers! We are woman – hear us roar! Michelle Hayward - Freelance Writer/Photographer, Designer, Makeup Artist, Student Nurse http://michellehayward.blogspot.com , http://haywardhomestead.blogspot.com http://thehouseofvintner.blogspot.com , http://abodiumdesigns.blogspot.com About Author Michelle Hayward is a feature writer at Connect2Mums http://connect2mums.ning.com and an author of a forthcoming novel http://michellehayward.blogspot.com which falls into the Chicklit Genre. Disclaimer: Article submitters are solely responsible for the content of their articles. ArtiLib can't be held liable for the contents of the articles. Report Abuse |
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